Just want to make a statement

I don't believe that people with "disabled persons" license plates should drive SUVs with spinners. I just don't believe in that. I don't know why. I just don't.

Also, I don't believe that Sir Mix-A-Lot's song, "I Like Big Butts" should be used for a back to school clothing commercial. I know they changed the words. . . .doesn't matter. I don't believe in that. I just don't.

I don't believe that you should name your child after a flower, Rose and Daisy being the exceptions. Today, an 11 year old girl called my radio station to request a song (Under The Boardwalk by The Drifters). Her name is Carnation. I just don't believe in that. I don't know why. I just don't.

I don't believe that a mother with two pre teens should be wearing a skin tight tank top that reads "Tough Titties". I just don't believe in that. I dno't know why. I just don't


There it is!

OH HELL TO THE NAW!!

We've got to the help my people! I totally disagree with much of what Bill Cosby has been saying about low income Black folks, but living in the hood has opened my eyes to what people consider to be priorities.

The other day I was in Albertson's. The brotha in front of me gave all the appearances of being poor, not low income, POOR. Yet, when the cashier ask for $1.71 for his small paper bag contents, this brotha pulled out a gift card. In all my ignorant wisdom, I assumed that a familiy member gave him the card as a gift. I made up an elaborate story in my head - smiling at my own idea of how Black folks are so communal. The gift card had $1.17 on it. Brothaman told the cashier she was wrong, but commputers don't lie. She scanned the card a second time. . . %1.17. I was getting ready to pull out my wallet and offer up the difference, being communal and all. I mean the brotha just wanted some chips and a soda, right? What else could fit in that small bag? As my hand wrapped around my wallet, Brothaman waved off the cashier and stormed out of the store. The cashier took the can of beer out of the paper bag and put it in a cart to be returned to its proper aisle. It was 10am. Priorities my people! We've got to help those with addictions!

Couple of nights ago, I was at a taco stand waiting for my carnitas burrito. A woman in her late 40s - early 50s walked up to the pay phone in her slippers, housedress and weather beaten coat. She had a scarf on her head and a cigarette between her lips. She was squinting and looking on the ground around the phone. I thought she had dropped her change or something. She kept picking up the receiver and putting it back on the hook. She walked into the near by liquor store and quickly returned to the phone, hands in her pockets.

I figured she didn't have the $.35 needed to make a phone call. As I reached for my wallet, sistagirl shuffled over and asked for some change. She held out her hands that were well manicured with false tips. I told her I couldn't help her and then tried to remember when I last had a manicure.

Hell to the naw!

Be Blessed!

Dreams Deferred

In late spring Ms Ali D and I began to list 101 things we want to do this summer. Now, we never got to 101, but 20 activities is good enough. Through the process I have realized that I have many dreams, ideas and activities that have been deferred because of work, school or just everyday living.

I'll give you a few of my dreams.

1. finish writing Diva Life: The Chronicles of a Diva in Training
2. make a concerted effort to get it published
3. write a screenplay about going blind. Can't you see it on Lifetime?
4. create a negligee with a built in underwire bra for big busted women, such as myself. These caramel colored globes of joy need alot more support!
5. make pillow coverings that match my rug
6. travel to Africa to feed and teach the children
7. start my own educational non profit
8. become a motivational speaker
9. start my own event planning business
10. teach etiquette classes for low income children
11. run for public office (I have too many skeletons in my closet)
12. live a life of leisure

Now some of those dreams can be achieved if I had the time. Time is so crucial. I believe that maybe in three years when I am done with my doctorate, I can make those pillows. But going off to Africa is for the young. I need to shore up my retirement fund. And the non profit world is so scary. I need financial security. With all my personal issues how could I possibly motivate someone else to get their lives together and my message wouldn't be any different that Iyanla, Oprah or Jewell Diamond Taylor.

Yet, I would love to give all these dreams a chance. Isn't that what life is all about? We try to take care of ourselves and families and live out a couple of dreams. Not fulfilling all of our dreams in part of life.

I just want to make sure that when I take my last breath, I don't have any regrets. I don't want to think I've missed out on anything. Maybe instead of listing my deferred dreams, I need to make a To Do List.

Be Blessed!

Not Speaking vs. No Voice

In April, my best friend hung up on me when I told him that what he wanted to do was tacky. Now, it doesn't matter what he was about to do. What matters is that my opinion of its tackiness caused him to scream at me and then hang up.

At least that's why I think he hung up on me. You see, we haven't spoken since. . . until about 30 seconds ago. The conversation was short. It went like this:

Best Friend: Hello
Diva: It's me
BF: Can I call you back? I'm busy right now.
Diva: OK

Now, I don't know if he will call me back. I'm not sure if I care. It's just that for the last week I have been thinking about calling him just to say, "I really don't know why we are not speaking. I love you unconditionally. So, let's work through this. We've been friends far too long -15 years- to let this (whatever it is) split up our friendship."

I must admit that this respite was sorely needed. I feel that our friendship had turned into more of a mother/child relationship because of his immaturity and my sometimes old soul that likes to nest. He frustrated me like any teenager would. I found myself complaining about him to friends, sounding like my mother when my sister "acted up". I heard my friends ask about him like I was giving an update on my child's life.

I also needed a break from the constant calling. Sometimes he and I talked two to three times a day - about nothing in particular.

Let me get to the point here. I have alot of dear friends. They know I have their backs in any situation. But for my best friend, I would go to the end of the earth. No matter how mad I get at him, I will always support and love him. And I will always tell him the truth, even when he doesn't want to hear it. To me, that is the mark of a true friend.

Not speaking for the last three months has given me time to remember why we became friends in the first place. I remember now why he has the title of "Best Friend". What is so disturbing is the feeling of not having a voice in our relationship. When he hung up on me, he shut down that space between us that held freedom of thought or opinion. He severed that sacred bond that allowed room for the power of voice. I felt powerless.


So, we'll see if he calls me back. If not, then this Diva in Training has learned a powerful lesson. Not speaking can bring clarity, while not having a voice can take away your sense of personal power.

No matter what, his actions would have been tacky.

Be Blessed!