Diva In Training Awards 2005 - Acceptance Speech

First, I want to thank God and Pookie.

Second, I want to thank some key people who have helped me put theory in to action - a practice that means so much to this doctoral student D.I.T.

I want to thank Mr. Olympian for changing my life just last night. He called. Sometimes that's all a D.I.T. needs to feel special. The brotha called at just the right time. I want to thank you, Mr. Olympian for those many late Thursday night or Sunday morning calls that always bring a smile to my face. You have opened my life and mind to theories such as friends vs. fans, the idea of sex that is not raunchy but profoundly beautiful and men and their sense of time. I am truly thankful and promise to hold your hand through any and every adventure we encounter or create. I love you.

I also want to thank Ms. SJ D.I.T. for creating one theory that is instantly put into action: If you write it down you will internalize the thought, idea or feeling. It sounds so simple, yet you remind me on a daily basis, sometimes hourly, that writing it down brings me closer to divahood.

Lastly, I have got to thank Mr. Married Man, But I Love You Anyway. You called me last night, from work, to tell me that you wished I lived next door to you, your pregnant wife and three year old daughter. Now, you are probably going to hell for that (I'll see you there), but I appreciate the idea that loving one person does not mean you stop loving someone else. The love changes. Theory: Love is ever evolving. There it is!

I would also like to thank my parents for their unconditional love and for the financial support through graduate school. I would like to also thank my sister for making more money than me. . . someone has to take care of my parents when they get old. Finally, I want to thank all the little people.

Be Blessed! No applause please.

A Time Honored Tradition

I kinda lost my way this month. I had stopped exercising all together, was eating anything and everything I wanted and hardly cooked. Therefore, I gained back the weight I had lost, was broke from eating out almost everyday and felt guilty for not exercising.

As I told my trainer, Todd. . . "I'm fragile". All it took was almost having an asthma attack on the treadmill and being notified that I have to pay to attend the gym during the summer. That was enough for me to let the shit go. Besides, the disciplined life I was leading just wasn't me. I am disciplined in every other aspect in my life. Organized up the whazoo. When it comes to food and exercise, I constantly need a break from the early morning exercising and the healthy (oftentimes tasteless) food I eat.

In the end, I was depressed, always tired and never satisfied with anything I ate. So, I'm back in the gym. Todd gave me my requisite 20 minute motivational speech in between the back curl things I do.

This morning I met him to do an hour of circuit training. After attacking each of my exercises with enthusiastic fervor, I figured I was done. But after my stomach crunches, Todd wanted me to step up and down on a wooden block for 30 seconds.

Now, let me explain something to you. I had already done 20 minutes on the treadmill, 15 on the elliptical machine and at least 45 minutes of weights. My asthma medication wasn't working and I was breathing hard and sweating profusely. I was in no mood to do something new and also lifting my legs wasn't appealing, even if it was one leg at a time.

Therefore, in pure Black girl fashion, I took it upon myself to honor Todd with a tradition that started when our white slave masters said something real stupid: I rolled my eyes at him. Yup! I did.

I don't even roll my eyes at my parents. Because, even at 34, I am afraid my mama would pimp slap me. You know how you never see the hand coming, but you feel the sting? Yeah, like that. And through your delirium you hear your mama ask, "Have you lost your mind?"

But Todd didn't take that route. He laughed. I did also. . . . . as I did the 30 seconds on the step.

Be Blessed!

You Are So Beautiful To Me

What is it that makes a person beautiful?

I have dated men who I did not find particularly physically attractive, but who intrigued me nonetheless. I have had friends tell me that they did not find their mates attractive, but loved them unconditionally. I actually had a boyfriend who I did not find attractive, but after getting to know him, he was the finest thang!

But dates are far and in between these days. So, here's my question. Am I missing out on something because I won't give the time of day to ugly men? Or is it that those men don't exude that innner beauty that is so appealing to me?

Hmmmm. . . . .Calling all ugly men! If you want to step to this Diva, please be ready to initiate a conversation where you can express your inner beauty. For me that means that you must exhibit integrity, kindness, selflessness and a willingness to learn new things.

Now, I know that's alot for one conversation, but life is already difficult for you. You're ugly (by my standards).

I know this sounds mean spirited. Just being honest with myself and the ugly men out there. Beauty and the Beast made it work. Maybe we can also.